I was talking to my youngest sister on the phone last night. A friend of hers is coming over one day for a girls sewing day. She said her friend had her mom help her make a dress form to fit her exactly. They covered her body with celophane wrap then with layer after layer of duct tape!, cut it up the middle back and took it off then taped it back together and filled it with the foam in a can stuff. She was so proud of. I was laughing so hard. My sister and I are “big girls” size 24/26. I said, “How would you like to wake up to that every morning standing in the corner!” Put it by the fridge! Talk about incentive!!!

Miss Dana..that is funny!!!

Something funny happened last night…I was watching “Survivorman” - love that show and he was in Africa, with Lions, Buffalo, Black Mamba snakes, Leopards or something…and at first, it was hard for him to find water…my husband and I were commenting back and forth, as he was walking around doing something. He made a comment about the water too and I said “yeah, cause he's thirsty”!!!

DH comes up to me with a glass of water, as I laid on the couch. I said “what's that for”? He said “you said you are thirsty”…I said “no, I said HE is thirsty”. LOL

LOL yeah…

That's how I got my Parakeet about 71/2 years ago…ask them when they are not listening well or sleepy. LOL

LOL REALLY…goat droppings OR A GOAT on your head. LOL

I dont care who you are…that was funny!!! Thanks for the guffaw!

Here is another funny!

From a Dog's Diary
 
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
 
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
 
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
 
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
 
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
 
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

 
 
From a Cat's Daily Diary…

Day 983 of my captivity.
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are 
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the 
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to 
keep up my strength.
 
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an 
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their 
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. 
Bastards.
 
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was 
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I 
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement 
was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to 
use it to my advantage.
 
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my 
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this 
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

A dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. 
 
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with 
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My 
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so 
he is safe. For now…………….

The big fair was last weekend. Everyone comes out. And a bunch of drunks too. The fair grounds are at the dead end of my street, I can see it all from my front porch. Across the street from me is the huge open acrege that they turn into parking lots. Its pretty comical to watch the drunks staggering & fallin in the mud ruts while looking for their trucks. There is also a street light across from me on the corner. Sat night after the concert, 1:45am, I am sitting on the front porch looking at the pics of the day on my camera. I am sitting in the shadows and cant be seen. Folks walking up and down the street on the way to their vehicles. Two guys, very drunk, being led by their girlfirends decide they just cant wait to go pee. So they stop right under the light and look around to see if anyone is watching. The girls are having a fit trying to get them not to. So just as they get unzipped and whipped out and going good, I flash my camera a couple of times and yelled, “Smile, your on candid camera!” One actually fell into the street trying to run as his pants fell to his knees, they both rolled on the ground tucking and zipping as fast as they could. The girls were laughing so hard they had to sit down. I just wish I could have really gotten some pictures. Coulda made their mama proud…cause yes, I did know both mamas.

Actually, this is what happened to me last night: 

Last night the plan was to go home and repair the fence where my goat, Bucky, was escaping. When I got home though - he was already out and waiting for me. If you've never had the chance to spend time with a goat in rut, you don't know what you are missing! They have on their mind only one thing and they bleat this deep, loud bleat while wagging their tongue. It sounds a lot like those 'whaaaaatzzzzzz uuupppp' commercials from football season last year. And Bucky's call sounds ALOT like Beeeeeeellllllllaaaaaa which just so happens to be my doe's name. Well, Bucky loves me (not in 'that' way) and he was very happy to see me. Goats wag their tails and he was bleating and wagging his tail following me around.

Since it was getting dark, I decided that I would let Clover, the horse, out to graze. I usually just put her on her lead and she stays and just munches on the grass. But not tonight. She took off across the neighbor's yard and do you know how dogs tease you when you are chasing them? Stopping until you're almost there and then taking off? That's what Clover was doing. She kept going further and further down the valley. What made it embarrassing was that there was a church function across the road and we were putting on quite a show for the people going into church. What made it worse was that the neighbor teenage kids on the other side of our property were watching. But the most embarrassing part was that Bucky was running after me, every step, bleating BEEELLLLLAAAAA!!!!!

The good news is that I was concentrating so hard on catching Clover - which I eventually did - that I didn't swear out loud in front of the church people, my kids, and the neighbors. And I'm happy to say that this morning when I went out, although Bucky was standing up on his hind legs waiting for me, he was behind the fence and not outside.

That IS funny! What always amazes me is that hundreds of people will stand around watching stuff like this going on, but not one of them will step in and try to help out. Why is that?