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Step one, get a chicken.

Or forty. Be sure you have complete control of them.

Good luck with that.

You’ll need a big garden rake….

….to drag the eggs out from the very back-back-darkest-back of the dog house.

They’ll change to a new hiding place soon, so good luck with that, too.

Just be glad they’re laying.

To make the most of your own fresh eggs, freezing eggs is an alternative to eating omelets for breakfast, quiche for lunch, and custard for dinner every day of the week when they’re laying heavily. You can store them up to use when they’re not laying. It’s also a great way to stock up on eggs from the store even if you don’t have your own chickens. In either case, freezing eggs is easy!

By the way, that’s one big honkin’ egg there, isn’t it? I hope the chicken that laid that one is okay….

This is what it looked like inside–two yolks.

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How to Freeze Eggs:
Whole Eggs
Break eggs into a bowl then pour into a strainer and through to a second bowl.

This allows the whites and yolks to mix gently without adding air. This is the secret to freezing eggs. Use a colander with large holes. You can stir the eggs with a spoon very carefully–but not too much. No beating air into them! Scrape around on the bottom of the colander and gently on the inside to help the eggs strain out. (You do have to break the yolks–push down on them.) Pack in plastic freezer containers, leaving 1/4-inch headspace. Usage: Three tablespoons of egg mixture equals one whole egg.
Yolks Only
Break yolks into a bowl. Add either 1 teaspoon sugar or 1/2 teaspoon salt per every six yolks (to prevent coagulation). Prepare and pack as for whole eggs. Usage: One tablespoon of mixture equals one egg yolk.
Whites Only
Break whites into a bowl. Prepare and pack as for whole eggs. Usage: Two tablespoons equals one egg white.
Easy! Eggs can be frozen up to 12 months. Take out what you need and thaw it slightly before using in a recipe and you’re good to go. This is particularly nice when you have a recipe calling for egg whites or egg yolks, or some uneven number like two whole eggs and one egg yolk. (What are you gonna do with that one leftover egg white?) Storing whites and yolks separately along with whole eggs in batches in the freezer means no wasting!
The chickens love that. Chickens are very frugal.

I mean, you know what tightwads they are with their eggs!!!
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Every time I take my slippers off, Buttercup sits down on them. EVERY TIME. He stalks my slippers, just waiting for them to be alone. It’s creepy. And I want my slippers back!
"It was a cold wintry day when I brought my children to live in rural West Virginia. The farmhouse was one hundred years old, there was already snow on the ground, and the heat was sparse-—as was the insulation. The floors weren’t even, either. My then-twelve-year-old son walked in the door and said, “You’ve brought us to this slanted little house to die." Keep reading our story....
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