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This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Sprint. From the time my kids were really little, I used to tell them, "You can tell me anything and I won't get mad....as long as you tell me the truth." I told them that because I wanted them to tell me things like who broke the plate I just found in the trash can and who used all the forks to build a mini-Stonehenge in the garden. As my kids have grown into teenagers (now 13, 16, and 18), keeping my promise has gotten harder as their transgressions have progressed to things like wrecking my car and experimenting with alcohol. But, just as I schooled myself to keep my temper in check when all my forks went missing, I have to work now to turn the more critical infractions of this stage of their childhoods into "teachable moments"--which aren't just for them, but for me, too. I have to be calm and quiet. I have to be willing to listen. Because if I listen then they will listen in return. And I always, always, have to remind myself--at least they are telling me. Isn't that what I asked them to do? And if they tell me, then I have the golden opportunity to put my finger into the secret pie of their teenage lives and give them a perspective they aren't going to get from their friends. The reward isn't just the "bad" stuff. I get the good stuff, too--their secrets, their questions about their relationships, and sometimes just seemingly trivial nonsense that shines a light into their thoughts and feelings that, at this age, are much more their own as their independence increases. My 13-year-old daughter went away on a trip this summer for several weeks--without a phone of her own. Through some dark cosmic alignment, all the cell phones in the house had either broken or run out of their service plans at the same time, and due to a complete lack of organization, I only realized this plight at the last minute, when it was too late. Due to other various circumstances, my daughter's access to a phone was limited while she was away. When she came home, the first thing she did was unload everything she hadn't had a chance to tell me while she was gone. She had some things to tell me that were wonderful and I regretted not having been able to share them with her as they were happening. She had other things to tell me that she regretted because she knew she would have acted differently in some situations if she'd been able to talk to me at the time. It was a sharp reminder to me what a touchstone a parent's voice is to a child, especially a teenager. They love to fly, but down deep they long for solid ground, and even from far away, that voice on the phone is that ground that helps them make good decisions. I'll never let her go away without a phone of her own again. Like her brothers before her, she tells me things. And whether those things are wonderful--or hard to hear--I want to hear them all.
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