I sit on my porch in the mornings. It’s warmer now. Warm enough to wear a sweater, drink coffee, and look at the pink sky creeping over the hills. There are a thousand birds! Mixed in the chorus of birdsong, I hear the river. It’s loud, rushing. There’s been rain this week. The river is so loud! The first day, I said, “How can I be hearing traffic? There is no traffic out here! Where is that noise coming from?” It sounds like an interstate! Then I realized it was the river.





Sometimes I can hear the steady pump-pump-pump of an oil rig beyond our farm. It doesn’t run all the time, just sporadically. My great-grandfather, on his farm across the river, used to say, “That is the sound of money.” Back in the day, this area was a center of gas and oil drilling. My great-grandfather made a lot of money off that pump-pump-pump sound. Not so many gas and oil pumps run around here today. Decades ago, the gas and oil companies decided they could drill other places, where they didn’t have to go as deep, for cheaper, and they went away. But times have changed, and they’re coming back. And my great–grandfather’s farm? My family still owns the mineral rights. When I hear the pump run, I say, “That’s the sound of money,” because a share of those mineral rights will come to me in time. And by then, maybe this area will be the center of gas and oil production it once was. I will do as my ancestors did, poor mountain folk who’d never seen so much money in their lives, and throw my clothes away to buy new every week because I have so much money, I don’t need to do wash. (Okay, I won’t do that, but they did!) And so I sit on my porch and fantasize about my future riches.

Hey, my chances are better at that than winning the lottery. (Which I didn’t win. Again. What is up with that?)

Then I look down at that loud river rushing between my farm and my great-grandfather’s and I know I am rich already. Just because I am here. Just because this is my morning.

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Isn’t this mossy stump cool? I don’t even know if this is moss. I don’t know what it is. Do you?

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Dookie the farm shih-tsu revealed his fresh spring style Tuesday, replacing his recent industrial mop look with a clean, sheared coif.





According to unpublished reports, the eleven-year-old purebred lost at least one film role starring alongside Reese Witherspoon and Matt Damon due to his disintegrating personal condition over the past several months. Rumors floated claiming depression and alcohol were involved in the famed farm shih-tsu’s hygiene troubles, but sources close to the farm dog said, “He’s a happy, well-adjusted little guy. He’s just not that particular sometimes. I’ve seen him playing in the creek every day, and he’s been taking naps in piles of sawdust.”

After a full spa day in the city, Dookie returned to his new farmhouse where friends and family greeted the newly-glammed doggy with a celebratory soiree. Five-star chef Wolfgang Puck catered the bash, serving the finest in lamb and rice hors d’oeuvres. Entertainment was provided by Carrie Underwood and Alan Jackson. Whether this showy return to public decency will bring film roles flying back into the farm pup’s lap is yet to be seen. Some in the fashion world were quick to criticize the new look as rash and severe, while others, perhaps more generous, called it “coquettish, bold, fun, and frisky,” and wished the shih-tsu celeb the best of luck. Dookie’s personal stylist noted, “We had no other choice. We have to take a scorched earth approach in these cases. He had to be shaved.”

The only statement Dookie made to the media was, “I need a nap now.”





Let’s just hope it’s not in another pile of sawdust.

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I’m back! What happened? Well, my site has experienced some sporadic outages in the past few months. I’ve had a lot of traffic growth, really quickly, and my site is quite large. My designer, who also handles the technical maintenance of my site, arranged for a server transfer of all her clients that was to take place this past weekend. Instead, it took place yesterday, and despite being assured that the new server could handle my traffic, my site broke the server and in order to get her other clients up and running, my account was deliberately disabled for the sake of the other clients since it was my site’s size and traffic breaking the server–leaving an automated message that the account was suspended and to contact the billing department, which remained up for much of the day. Making me look like a deadbeat. Color me so not pleased with this entire series of events (and note my restraint in that pithy statement).

However! I am back up, hopefully on a server that can handle my site, and more fun, frolic, and country living is on the way! Tell me you’re still here! (sob!)

I really need some chocolate. And chickens. I need chickens. I know–I need a chocolate chicken! Quick, somebody give me a chocolate chicken!!!!!

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