So the gutter guy calls. He’s coming to look at the house before he does the gutters. There are rare spots of cell signal in the country. You can find them if you are desperate, or if you are a teenager. (16 knows ALL the cell signal spots.)
Gutter Guy: “I can’t find your house. I’ve been driving around in circles and I’m lost.”
Me: “Where are you?”
Gutter Guy: “I went out Vineyard Ridge, passed the low water bridge, and turned right on Johnson Creek.”
Me: “You were supposed to go left after the low water bridge. Where are you?”
Gutter Guy: “I’m wherever I am if I went right after the low water bridge!”
Me: “Okay, are you even sure you are on Johnson Creek? Did you take a big hairpin turn before the low water bridge?”
Gutter Guy: “Yes. Then I passed the low water bridge and turned right and I’m at the end of Johnson Creek.”
Me: “So can you see an old building there that used to be a store?”
Gutter Guy: “Uh. Yes.”
Me: “Is there a church with two outhouses?”
Gutter Guy: “There’s a church……”
Me: “Drive over there! See if there are two outhouses.”
Gutter Guy: “Okay. Yes, there are two outhouses. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I AM?”
Me: “Yes, I know exactly where you are. Keep going and take the first right.”
And if you ever come visit me, I will help you the exact same way. I’m better than GPS. I will lead you here by the outhouses.
