Princess: You remember that time you drank two glasses of wine and drove me to ballet class and you ran into a ditch?
Me: What?!
Princess: You drank two glasses of wine before you took me to ballet and you ran the car into a ditch.
Me: That never happened! First of all, your ballet class was at 3 in the afternoon so I was certainly never drinking wine and taking you to ballet, and second of all, Texas is flat and there weren’t any ditches around there, and third, I’ve never driven my car into a ditch in my life. (A river, maybe. But not a ditch…. And I wasn’t drinking!) What else do you remember about when we lived in Texas? The pet elephant you rode around the yard every day after school?
16 walks into the room.
Me: Tell her I never drank two glasses of wine and took her to ballet and ran the car into a ditch.
16: I told her that never happened the last time I heard her telling people that story.
Me: She’s been TELLING PEOPLE THIS STORY?!
16: Yeah, but when I heard her tell it, you had four glasses of wine.
::thunk::
