Posted by Suzanne McMinn on January 20, 2008 @ 1:05 am
Tags: 52
Daily Farmhouse Journal
I can’t stop talking to him. Talking and talking and talking. I love to talk to him. What did I do before I had him to talk to? Already I can’t remember…..
Me: We have a lot in common.
52: Maybe we should have lunch.
Me: I don’t want to go on a date.
52: It’s just lunch.
Me: There’s still that age thing.
52: I feel okay. I don’t think I’m going to die anytime soon. But we don’t have to have lunch yet if you don’t want to. I’m patient.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m a lot of trouble.
52: Maybe I like young trouble.
Me: Maybe I’m trying to come up with reasons you shouldn’t like me.
52: It’s not working.
Me: I don’t really want it to…… I’m just not sure you’re real. You’re like somebody I must have made up.
52: I’m nothing extraordinary.
But he is……
Me: Can we have lunch?
52: Yes.
Me. I’m scared to have lunch. Never mind.
52: What do you think is going to happen if we have lunch?
Me: I might like you even more.
52: That sounds okay.
Me: Can we have lunch?
52: Yes.
Me, scared……….
To be continued……
Missed the beginning? Read it here.
3:44
am
Okay.
It’s just lunch. Not a life commitment. Do you know what he looks like? Will you be repulsed by his physical appearance? (Always possible!)
I did this once, a year after my ex and I split,, but with a younger man. Did the IM thing for a while (he was a friend of a friend) because he didn’t live in the province. He was so easy to fall for, especially at that vulnerable time in my life. We did meet and spend time together — foolish me, still on the rebound, lost my heart. It was far harder to pick up the pieces of that, afterward, than it was to deal with my ex leaving (something I never was sorry for).
But we all hear of people who meet and have great connections via cyber space, connections that sometimes lead to more, sometimes to wonderful platonic friendship.
Really, Suzanne, what have you go to lose? Life hurts if you sit on the sidelines and life hurts if you dive in and take risks. Either way, life still hurts. You might as well take a chance. You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to. But the longer you drag this out, the longer it’s going to take to discover whether you “click” in person. And the more mental and emotional energy you will have spent dwelling on him.
So find out. Go to lunch.
It’s. Just. Lunch.
-Kim
4:24
am
I just wanted to add a bit more, as if I weren’t already long-winded enough.
Suzanne, life is about learning to deal with loss, whether or not we want to admit it. Loss of youth, of illusions, of dreams, of jobs, fur family, friends, parents, spouses (divorce or death), health. And finally, the loss of our own lives. “Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.” (Matthew Flickstein, if I’ve spelled the last name correctly.)
But just because all things eventually pass away is no reason not to live life to its fullest. In fact, it’s all the more reason to. (As if I take my own advice….)
Seize the joyous moments, Suzanne. They provide the balance to life’s sorrow and grief.
I may have only three cats, but I *am* the crazy cat lady — I am not able to open my heart to anyone again. My skin is too thin and I haven’t the experience at game-playing. I don’t trust people. I give my love to my fur family, more so than even my human family and friends. I don’t think it hurts less when they leave me, because they are more than pets, they are my *family*, but in many ways it *is* easier. We all have baggage, but at least when I avoid human relationships that baggage stays closed. Because I don’t think I could survive any more hurt, truly. I’m amazed I’ve physically survived to this point; it was dicey for awhile. And I’m tired of the stupid song and dance men and women do around each other. I’m too old for it, and too intolerant.
Please don’t shut your Self away as I have. Keep yourself open to friendship and love and if the Universe blesses you and brings it to you again, seize it with both hands.
Blessings and Peace.
-Kim
6:29
am
Suzanne I totally understand your beef about age (but I dont know your age). I couldn’t date an older man (I’m 38) but I have issues LOL
OTOH it’s just lunch. What do you have to lose but a few hours of your time? I can really relate to what Kim said above…and I know how hard it is to put yourself out there, but don’t shut yourself out. At the least you have a new friend…at the most, something more
7:46
am
Have fun! I met a man via the internet who I thought was too old for me and we are still having fun 18 months later! We’ve had ups and downs… but we shall see!
8:37
am
Amie, I’ll be 44 in April and 52 sounds too old for me! LOL. But then, as is obvious from my posts, I have “issues” too, plenty of them.
Hey, maybe “52″ won’t be a self-absorbed, petulant, emotionally distant, selfish “child.” (Oh, gee, did I just describe my ex?) Maybe he’ll be a wonderful, giving, caring, emotionally mature man.
Oh, wait…He’s still a man.
-Kim
9:39
am
Oooooo! I have butterflies! When my husband and I first met, he showed up on his MOTORCYCLE! How’s THAT for 10 years older? Go, fly, be free and if it doesn’t work out, you can always write a book about it.
9:40
am
I’m almost 36, and if I were single, I would definitely date an older man.
You can do it! (If you want to.)
9:42
am
You have nothing to loose if you go…but if you don’t? You could loose 52. I’d say the odds favor going.
9:51
am
Seriously I am 27 and I don’t think 52 is old. I am married (he’s not 52) but if I wasn’t and I happened to fall for a 52 year old I’d be okay with it. Suzanne is he older than what you Dad is or would be? Then I’d freak out. . . .
9:54
am
About this age thing…”Funny” how eager men are to be with women who are significantly younger than they are. But it’s far less common to see a young man with a significantly older woman, unless she’s wealthy. Talk about a double standard!
I think this whole topic is triggering pretty strong feelings for me. I think I’d better stop posting now!
-Kim
9:55
am
Just please tell me that you didn’t go out for fried bologna sandwiches!!!!!
BW
10:00
am
No, Kim, don’t stop posting! It’s a good conversation! I think I’d better say how old I am so we know what we’re talking about. I’m the same age as you are–I’m going to be 44 in April. People usually think I’m in my 30s (that picture on my About Me page was taken a couple weeks ago) but that might just be because I’m so silly, LOL.
(Dani, my dad is 83!)
10:15
am
Well, girl, I’ll be 44 this week!! (Funny, there are 3 of us the exact same age.) I’m telling ya right now, I would date a 52 yr. old in a heart beat. I have been around some real fun and real sexy men in that age range. They know what they want, they are settled, they are calm, they are caring and they are done playing games! GO FOR IT! I squealed with delight when I read your post today! YOU LIKE HIM!!!!!!
11:33
am
Oh, my. the suspense in this story is killing me…8 yrs is no biggie. Trust me on this one.
12:24
pm
You know what Suz, I’m getting the weird feeling that this is the plot for the Romance book you mentioned a while back. If not, then let me just say this: After my husband passed away, I went a little (?) crazy. The average age of the guys I dated was half my age.
I wasn’t rich nor was I promiscious. We just had fun but I soon realized they were all dead end relationships. I almost (shudder) married one of them but came to my senses in time. So having said that, my point is : age is not the biggest roadblock in a relationship. Feelings are what matter. We can go thru a lot of men trying to find Mr. Perfect. Take my word for it, he does not exist. We aren’t perfect so why do we look for perfection in the men we date, have lunch with or have a relationship with? I am now 64 and some of the younger guys are now really good friends. Who knows what life has in store for us. Just take it one day at a time and don’t rule out any possibilities. I hope everything works out for the best . Not just you Suz. but all the beautiful ladies who post here. You are truly awesome ladies. 
I take much more from you ladies than I could ever give. Have a great day and 
to all.
12:30
pm
Fannie, I bet some of it will end up in a book someday, LOL.
1:54
pm
Dang Kim I think our ex’s are related
3:02
pm
Duh, Suzanne, that was all I needed to do. I swear I looked at that this morning and did not see the website line. Dumb blondes!!!
BW
3:14
pm
Suzanne, I say go to lunch with 52. After all you do have to eat and some company could make it that much more enjoyable!
6:14
pm
I think you should go, but be careful. Don’t show him the way to your home just yet.
6:19
pm
It’s only lunch. Go and have a good time—see if you want to get to know him better.
10:33
pm
I linked to your blog by way of Rebecca Burch’ blog. I’m so glad I did. I grew up down the road from you in Spencer and just moved back to WV after 30 some years away. I now live down near Parkersburg. My Mom still lives at Spencer. I love the outhouse photo. Brings back memories. Ours was a two seater but only one long board. I’ve been reading your blog and it is so enjoyable. I know I’ll stop by often. Oh, it’s lunch - go!!!!
12:24
am
I think you know what you want to do so I say, go with your heart and not your head. I always have done everything by the book and listened to what everyone else told me to do - in hindsight a lot of things weren’t what was best for me. You’ve showed so much courage so far that I think you’ll be fine no matter how it turns out. As to the age thing - my grandparents had 11 yrs. difference and were married over 50 years, my parents had 9 and were also married over 50 years and then there’s my daughter going with someone almost 15 years older. People the same age don’t necessarily make a great pair. So I guess I agree with most everyone else - it’s only lunch (easy for us to say lol).
2:39
am
Does he know you have a blog? Does he know you’re sharing yours and his conversations with thousands of other people online (maybe slight exxageration
)? If you aren’t ready for lunch, if that seems too much of a commitment, how about coffee…at a coffee shop? Then you wouldn’t have that whole worrying about how you look while you’re eating thing going on.
I say, meet the guy! Of course, I also say, meet him in a public place with lots of witnesses…I mean people around, just in case he turns out to be some kind of nutcase. Who knows? This guy may turn out to be your soulmate, the love of your life!
12:34
pm
Oh you silly people
I’m 44 now and have been married to my husband of 13 years (almost) since he was 50 and I was 31.
But then I had no clue how old he was I thought he was around 40? I was an old 31 so we were practically the same “mental” age. When I found out how old he was I freaked a little bit and then thought I was being petty. Considering I’d been married for 10 years to a man close to my age but acted like a teenager this was a wonderful surprise.
So I’m glad I didn’t let “age” dictate because age doesn’t guarantee length or quality of life. My MIL is 84 and has outlived 2 husbands she was married to the first one 17 years and the second one 32 years and he was 15 years younger than she was.
12:39
pm
BTW My theme song during the time in my life when I was deciding about getting involved with an older man was:
Garth Brooks
~Standing outside the Fire
“
6:31
pm
Suzanne,
A) I’m only a couple of years younger than you.
B) My ex was 8 years older than me.
C) I would date a 52 yr old, if there was magic.
D) Sounds like you have magic.
E) It’s only lunch babe.
1:57
pm
WHoo Hooo. GO Suzanne!!
1:59
pm
UHmm in case you didn’t get it. I agree with Jaq.
9:04
pm
Oh there is NOTHING like the feeling of being in love…or even STRONG LIKE. LOL Butterflies…I soooo miss that feeling…enjoy!