Requiem | Chickens in the Road

Apr
13

We have a hole in our screened-in porch. My husband cut it out so the cat can go back and forth, get in out of the rain or get away from the dogs. Maybe we should call it a bird door instead of a kitty door because more birds go through it than cats. They hop around on the back deck….and hop right through the little opening then they can’t find their way back out. The cat really likes this. Trapped bird! Tasty treat! I’ve saved I don’t know how many birds–I open the screen porch door and shoo and shoo and shoo till I get the bird to leave. The worst part about it is that I have to chase the bird around the porch like a crazy person before it realizes the door is open and stops batting its head into the screens.

I was feeling quite virtuous yesterday after saving yet another sweet little bird from the waiting, dripping, patient mouth of Buttercup. Then I went to the store. Drove home. A squirrel ran straight into the road in front of me. ::thump:: I swerved. I nearly ran off the road. But I could not save Squirrel Nutkin. Is that a karmic tie? Ten birds up, one squirrel down.

A few years ago our dogs killed a squirrel. My daughter insisted on a funeral to honor its little lost life. “Squirrels have families, too!” she cried. Have you ever been to a squirrel funeral? How do you eulogize a squirrel? It went something like this. Dear God, he was a good squirrel. He never hurt anybody. Please take care of him and give him lots of nuts in heaven and no dogs. Amen. Then we picked flowers and put them on the grave.

If my daughter knew about yesterday, she’d make me go get that squirrel. NOBODY TELL HER!

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17 Responses
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4-13
6:12
am

I promise I won’t tell her! I’ve nailed a few creatures I couldn’t avoid without putting my own life, kids and car in danger. I cringe and then shrug. Survival of the “Smart enough to stay the hell off the road,” I guess.

Sela -
4-13
6:19
am

I’ve hit a few squirrels, and had a few birds fly into my front grill. Yuk. I paid my son a dollar to dig them out. I didn’t ask him if he held a funeral…

Katie -
4-13
6:51
am

Don’t you hate hitting birds? That little *poof* of feathers…Ick.

Sela -
4-13
7:31
am

I won’t tell. :-)
Mary Beth

mary beth -
4-13
7:38
am

I won’t tell either. But don’t you hate it when it happens.

Mary -
4-13
8:18
am

I love your daughter.

Jill -
4-13
8:32
am

lol You could buy one of those infra-red kitty doors, then it only opens for your cat. Saw one in a catalog the other day. Poor stupid birds. My aunt has cats that like to deposit those kinds of presents under her bed for her.

Nicole -
4-13
8:55
am

We don’t have many squirrels around here, but there lots of deer at night eating beside the highway. They are known to dart across the road at the worst time. That’s my big fear–hitting one of those poor things. I have a few friends who have. Not pretty.:sad: Sorry to hear about Mr. Squirrel.

Beth C -
4-13
9:43
am

My lips are sealed. But you do know, girl, that you should not swerve to avoid hitting something (unless it’s a moose). YOU could get yourself killed by going off the road, flipping your car over, heaven knows what. Better the squirrel than you. I know, poor squirrel. Mean Chey.

Cheyenne McCray -
4-13
9:44
am

I won’t tell her. I’ve been lucky (touch wood). I haven’t hit anything yet, at least that I know of.

Margery -
4-13
10:16
am

That is so cute about the squirrel funeral.
Good thing it was not a skunk that you ran over-uffdah!

Robyn -
4-13
3:19
pm

yuck! isn’t it disgusting when you hit an animal? And I feel HORRIBLE after it.:sad:

But I won’t tell your daughter, because I think no mother should be made to have more than one squirrel funeral in her lifetime …

kacey -
4-13
3:30
pm

Natural selection…

Melanie -
4-13
3:55
pm

Mum’s the word. :wink:

Vicki -
4-13
6:52
pm

Ew! I’ve never hit a squirrel so far (knock wood), but I have hit my brakes to avoid it numerous times. There will come a time when I’m not so lucky. All I can think is–yuck! Squirrel guts!! :razz:

Michelle -
4-13
7:25
pm

My husband stops for squirrels–dead ones.

He pulls over to the side of the road, gets out the diagonal cutters and a plastic bag, clips off their tails, drops the tail in the bag, and puts the bag in the trunk.

He uses the squirrel fur to tie flies for fly fishing.

Consider yourselves lucky (I’ve put up with worse).

Margee -
4-13
7:36
pm

Your secret’s safe with me. I’ve never had to have a squirrel funeral, but I’ve had several fish funerals. My DD believes that I buried all the fish in the same place I buried the first one. Please don’t tell her I flushed them while she was at school…:oops:

trish -